1. |
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I been looking for the easy way out
I been trying to find a different route
I been searching for the truth
Lately I’m trying to distract myself
Making jokes poking fun at my mental health
And I been asking where’s my noose
If you think I’ll stop joking about death
Well you better hold your breath
And hold it in till you are dead
I’m always looking for a cheap laugh
So I can forget just how sad
I am and how bad this could get
I just wanna know
Can someone diagnose me
Is this a disease
Is something wrong with me
Fuck nature running its course
I wanna be reassured
Tell me honestly
Is something wrong with me
I bought a comfy mattress to snooze
Still spend my nights in the living room
Cause I find no comfort in my bed
I find comfort in just a few things
Like music my friends and booze
And the idea of a permanent end
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2. |
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Runaway, I always runaway
I search for any place
Where I can get away
If just for a moment
Then I can lose focus
And keep all my judgements at bay
I resonate in several different ways
And all of my escapes
Have become quite mundane
And every distraction
Is a chore or a task
That I do not want to obey
What did I get done today?
Absolutely nothing, I accomplished nothing
What did I get done today?
I hope that something will change
Some day, yeah some day
hey
Runaway, I always runaway
Sometimes my getaway
Is satisfied just by staying
Home all alone waiting for a phone call
Or just playing video games
I make commitments that I can’t commit to
Will I ever grow old like im supposed to
One day, yeah one day
What did I get done today?
Absolutely nothing, I accomplished nothing
What did I get done today?
I hope that something will change
Some day, yeah some day
I will find a source of motivation
But I’ll find a sort of complication
Any excuse I can use I will use it
To prove to myself that I’m not as useless
As I thought, its not my fault
I’ve got so much to do and I swear that I’ll do it
Just give me a moment and I will get to it
But I’ll hesitate and search for any way
That I can possibly find to delay
Now it’s getting late I’ve done nothings so far so
I’ll do it tomorrow
I slept in way too late
(Tomorrow never comes)
I don’t feel great today
(Tomorrow never comes)
I’ve got so much to do
(Tomorrow never comes)
But I’l get to it soon
(Tomorrow never comes)
(Tomorrow never comes)
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3. |
who ya gonna call?
02:26
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Taking up hobbies and completing tasks
That are impossible to do
Reaching for stars and bottling wind
And trying to forget about you
Feels like I’m searching forever
Never give up never quit, oh never mind
I’ll never find someone like you
So far but you feel so close behind
Turn around to find your gone for good this time
When you close your eyes do you think of me
no?
Hunting for ghosts on Halloween
Is not as fun as I thought it would be
C’mon hunting? More like waiting
For something to fall over and scare me
Feels like I’m searching forever
Never give up never quit, oh never mind
I’ll never find someone like you
So far but you feel so close behind
Turn around to find your gone for good this time
When you close your eyes do you think of me
I don’t care for anyone, but me
(Push down the weight of self doubt and)
Searching for a way to raise my self esteem
(It was hard to find but I found it)
I am not for anyone, but you are for me
I still got a long way to go
Feels like I’m searching forever
Never give up never quit, oh never mind
I’ll never find someone like you
So far but you feel so close behind
Turn around to find your gone for good this time
When you close your eyes do you think of me
I love the feeling of finding a forgotten song
I spend my days longing for something that’s long gone
I spend my nights reminiscing, missing the past
How come the best moments never seem to last x2
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4. |
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The rubber on the soles of my sneakers are fading
From pacing around for hours
I’m anxious and scared of god knows what
I’m aware I’m a fucking coward
I know if I try I can get what I want
Too bad I don’t know what that is
With absolute certainty I am sure
That I am a piece of shit
I’m a disgrace, I’m a failure, a fuckup, a bum
I destroy everything I touch
I fucking hate myself man but I love to love
And I think that I love too much
I’m sick of praying to god
I minded my manners
And no one answered me
I kept my sinning to a minimum
Yet oblivion’s still out of reach
Thinking of quitting my job
Waving my banner
A white flag meant for peace
But does consonance mean that I’m giving up
And does giving up mean I’m weak
Not sure if this is the right way
Not sure of anything
I could be heading in the wrong direction
And there’s no one here to stop me
No self control, unloyal
Don’t you think I know
Fucked things up
But I did it all on my own
It’s all my fault I’m well aware
“My way or the highway”
Now my van is flipped
Put on display
Most visited exhibit
Nothing better to do but stop and stare
I felt at home with you
I felt at war with my self
Now all my thoughts became so cynical
Now all I have to do
To get by is survive another night
But even that became so difficult
Yeah yeah yeah right I know I know
I got a long long way to go
Before things ever go back to normal
I felt at home with you
I kept my eyes low
But I lost all sight of hope.
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5. |
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I’m so sick of traditions
I’m sick of using them as an excuse
I’m so sick of nostalgia, sick of the power
In “That’s just what I’m used to.”
I’m sick of remakes and redos
A quick rewind and let’s retry
I’m so sick of tomorrow, catastrophic debacles
And “I’ll do better next time.”
You can try and try again
You can fail and never learn
Destined to repeat until “defeated” becomes “vanquished”
You say “don’t get yourself down”
But then how will I grow out
Of this somber seed, enlightened I will flourish
I don’t care about the old days
I don’t care about your fractured past
I am not breaking my back
For your balancing act
I will never give a second chance
I won’t even give a passing glance
To someone stuck so far behind
Yeah no more second tries this time
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6. |
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I’m either binge watching television or
Cringing at something I did
Back when I was like 14-15
When I was still young and naive
I know that maybe I still am
I thought that maybe this would end
By the time that I was fully grown
Will I ever feel comfortable being alone
I just wanna know
Can someone diagnose me
Is this a disease
Is something wrong with me
Fuck “nature running it’s course”
I just wanna be reassured
Tell me honestly
Is something wrong with me
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dr. feelokay Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
another philly emo band.
not a real doctor.
dr. feelokay recommends:
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